The Interfaith chaplain asked ( sagely of course..,)
" Children's grief is known to be chronologically inverse to adults. Yes? " The therapist nodded in a "tell me more" kind of way that looked habitual.
Adult grief is chronologically inverse to kids
The chaplain obliged (she was on a roll and was going to do it anyway,) "When told their mother was dead and would not be coming back, a kid may be initially shocked, but then, a few moments later, might ask if they could go play next door or watch a movie. Their grief is postponed – for months – long after an adult's initial lamentations and condolence cards are stored away. When an adult starts the slow internal healing that is needed to live, they tend to do it in a quieter version of grief which sets in like a numbing to joy and light. While they can see the sun, they can't feel it."
"Kids only start their grief months later - it looks like acting out. Their grief is mute."