Dr. Einstein & Jesus, the inmate

Posthumously and humorously:

Notes from Spiritual Direction Session 
Patient: Mr. Jesus Christ
Notes by Dr. A. Einstein for review
First meeting
Location: Bethlehem Incarceration Facility
 
Dr Einstein: Good Morning Mr. Christ.  I understand from Rev. Hager that you are undergoing a dark night of the soul as you sit here in jail. Rev. Hager is off for Easter celebration so I am standing in for her.  As a Jew, I do not take this holiday off.  She asked me if I might offer my services for the next 30 minutes.  She will be back with you after Easter to further support you on your journey.  I understand you had a run in with the authorities?
 
Jesus: Yes, I have tried to “turn the other cheek” and teach my simple message of love to the people but I have made some enemies.  I am misunderstood and I am tired of it.
 
Dr. Einstein: “Yes, once we accept our limits, (only then can) we go beyond them.”
 
Jesus: If I may quote Upton Sinclair with whom I find a lot of common ground, “"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon ... I've tried “  It was a coincidence that I found this book in my cell.
 
Dr. Einstein: “Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.”
 
Jesus: Thank you, I like that. I can see you are a man of a spiritual bent but in the end only “those who have eyes to see, will see.”
 
Dr. Einstein: Let me put it this way, "There are two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is a though everything is a miracle" -
 
Jesus: Yes, miracles...I have done a few of them but you are right – all life is a miracle.
 
Dr. Einstein: “The most important question, Jesus, that a person can ask is, "Is the Universe a friendly place?”  What is your answer?
 
Jesus:  It is not my work but my Father in heaven, my Abba’s, my Poppa.  He has all the answers.  I am just following orders...
 
Dr Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."
 
Jesus: What are you implying? Are you saying I have to do more than just follow the rules?   I have to think and feel with the gifts that my Father gave me?  
 
Dr Einstein: “Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts”.
 
Jesus: If I was to feel with my OWN heart I would listen to this girl that has been hanging around the camp.  She is wonderful and wise; she says to allow our hearts to inform our heads.
 
Dr. Einstein: “When the solution is simple, God is answering.”
 
Jesus:  What are you saying?  Her answers are different…even her questions are different.
 
Dr Einstein:  “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a ladder, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
 
Jesus:  That can get sticky pretty fast. You see I am very attracted to her goodness, her wisdom and ...  Ohy Veh, don’t get me started on her body  It is very distracting.  But, How can I serve two masters?
 
Dr. Einstein: Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
 
Jesus:  My disciples back at camp are going to be jealous if I kiss Magdalene.
 
Dr. Einstein: “A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.”
 
Jesus:  Thank you Dr. Einstein…you have given me a lot to think about- kinda obscure but clearly thoughtful.
 
Dr. Einstein: “I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”
 
Jesus:  Yeah, whatever.  Guard, take me back to my cell; I still have 40 days to serve and I need some wilderness right now.


NOTE: Chaplains when training to be of clinical support do these reviews (called verbatims) of our patient visits for a CPE group to review and give feedback.  When I was doing my residency in San Francisco St. Lukes Hospital, I created this  a playful exercise as to how two famous people might encounter each other (posthumously and humorously...)

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