Posthumously and humorously:
Notes from Spiritual Direction Session
Patient: Mr. Jesus Christ
Notes by Dr. A. Einstein for review
Location: Bethlehem Incarceration Facility
Dr Einstein: Good Morning Mr. Christ. I understand from Rev. Hager that you are undergoing a dark night of the soul as you sit here in jail. Rev. Hager is off for Easter celebration so I am standing in for her. As a Jew, I do not take this holiday off. She asked me if I might offer my services for the next 30 minutes. She will be back with you after Easter to further support you on your journey. I understand you had a run in with the authorities?
Jesus: Yes, I have tried to “turn the other cheek” and teach my simple message of love to the people but I have made some enemies. I am misunderstood and I am tired of it.
Dr. Einstein: “Yes, once we accept our limits, (only then can) we go beyond them.”
Jesus: If I may quote Upton Sinclair with whom I find a lot of common ground, “"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon ... I've tried “ It was a coincidence that I found this book in my cell.
Dr. Einstein: “Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.”
Jesus: Thank you, I like that. I can see you are a man of a spiritual bent but in the end only “those who have eyes to see, will see.”
Dr. Einstein: Let me put it this way, "There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is a though everything is a miracle" -
Jesus: Yes, miracles...I have done a few of them but you are right – all life is a miracle.
Dr. Einstein: “The most important question, Jesus, that a person can ask is, "Is the Universe a friendly place?” What is your answer?
Jesus: It is not my work but my Father in heaven, my Abba’s, my Poppa. He has all the answers. I am just following orders...
Dr Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."
Jesus: What are you implying? Are you saying I have to do more than just follow the rules? I have to think and feel with the gifts that my Father gave me?
Dr Einstein: “Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts”.
Jesus: If I was to feel with my OWN heart I would listen to this girl that has been hanging around the camp. She is wonderful and wise; she says to allow our hearts to inform our heads.
Dr. Einstein: “When the solution is simple, God is answering.”
Jesus: What are you saying? Her answers are different…even her questions are different.
Dr Einstein: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a ladder, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
Jesus: That can get sticky pretty fast. You see I am very attracted to her goodness, her wisdom and ... Ohy Veh, don’t get me started on her body It is very distracting. But, How can I serve two masters?
Dr. Einstein: Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
Jesus: My disciples back at camp are going to be jealous if I kiss Magdalene.
Dr. Einstein: “A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.”
Jesus: Thank you Dr. Einstein…you have given me a lot to think about- kinda obscure but clearly thoughtful.
Dr. Einstein: “I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”
Jesus: Yeah, whatever. Guard, take me back to my cell; I still have 40 days to serve and I need some wilderness right now.
NOTE: Chaplains when training to be of clinical support do these reviews (called verbatims) of our patient visits for a CPE group to review and give feedback. When I was doing my residency in San Francisco St. Lukes Hospital, I created this a playful exercise as to how two famous people might encounter each other (posthumously and humorously...)
on a Chaplain's life